Stay calm... call parents, spouse, children, workplace, school, close friends and anyone who could know where they may be.
Ask everyone you call to help you call around. If you have to go
out, make sure everyone you have called has all your contact numbers.
Back-track the missing person’s regular route to/from school
or work. Check nearby places, neighbours, video arcades, malls, nightclubs,
any likely place that you may not be able to contact by phone. Check
your child’s other parent if you do not live together. Check your
spouse’s ex. Remember to check your own home thoroughly, your
child might have come home quietly & be asleep in Grandma’s
room, they might even be heading for their school or their parents home.
If the missing person is elderly, possibly suffering from Alzheimer’s,
they might be trying to go to the house they used to live in or where
they used to work. Remember people suffering from Alzheimer’s,
often live twenty or thirty years ago in their minds.
Make a police report. The sooner the report is made the more likely
it is that the missing person may be found quickly. However, particularly
in the case of adults, police do not always want to take a report immediately.
You must be able to convince them that you have already checked the
likely places and that this is not normal behaviour for this person.
The police will need a clear description of the missing person including
identifying scars, birthmarks and other identification such as earrings,
glasses, etc. Height, weight, hair colour, eye colour. A recent photograph
(less than 2 years old for adults & less than 6 months old for children).
Go over the past few days in your mind. Did someone have an argument
with the missing person that may have caused him or her to run away?
Is there a problem at school, which your child might be trying to avoid?
As painful as it might be, could your spouse have run off with someone
else? Could your elderly parent be forgetful and wandered off?
Organise an even wider, more careful search. Go slowly over the normal
routes of the missing person. Go over the work/school route again. Go
over the route normally taken to visit friends. Go over your child’s
likely route to the video arcade or your wife’s route to the hairdresser.
If you find anything, schoolbag at the sports ground or handbag at the
bus stop, resist the urge to pick it up and call the police.
As much as everyone will want to help in the search, someone must
remain at home at all times, your loved one might call or even come
home. Leave the phone line open.
Young people like to send text messages, so you should also try to
keep your primary cell phone free. Use a second or borrowed cell for
any calls you need to make.
If you suspect your teenager has run away on purpose, search their
room thoroughly, see if any clothes are missing, are their any signs
of them being involved in something illegal or untoward? Check the computer
for who they have been talking to online.
If you think your loved one has been kidnapped, provide the police
with any information you might have for your suspicions including the
name and description of anyone you might suspect.
Make a list of everyone you have contacted and everywhere you have
searched and when, so that you do not waste time. If your loved one
is still missing, after a few days you can review the list and follow
up.
Do not blame the police if they are not doing everything you think
they should; remember the police have thousands of cases dealing with.
You must however keep contacting them for updates and continue to give
them any new information you have.
Call the newspapers & radio & television stations and ask
them to publicise the disappearance. In many cases they will be very
willing to help.
Make copies of photographs of the missing person & put them up
around your neighbourhood and in places where he or she normally “hangs
out”. Remember to ask permission from business places before putting
up posters.
Don’t give up. The police will have other cases, the media
will have fresher news, but you will always care for the missing person
and your determination will probably be the most important thing in
helping to find them. Remember, some missing persons have been found
even after ten or more years.
